It is almost the first Christmas without you.
I just can't seem to get happy this year.
I try to look at the positives,
But so many of them remind me of you.

Sometimes all I want is a hug,
Sometimes I can no longer hold back the tears.
So here is my goodbye letter
Of things, I should have said.

Thank you for raising me,
Even if it was only for a short time.
Thank you for loving me
When no one else seemed to.

Thank you for the sleepovers
Thank you for the cakes
Thank you for the TV my parents wouldn't let me watch.
Thank you for the stories my parents never told.

Thank you for teaching me
Thank you for learning
Thank you for the soda, the chips, and the candy.
Thank you for accepting me.

I'm sorry I was so stubborn
I'm sorry I didn't like your cooking
I'm sorry I fought so much with my sister
In my precious time with you.

I'm sorry I spent so much time on an iPad
I'm sorry I didn't go to say goodbye.
I'm sorry I didn't tell you all this
...when you were alive.

Thank you for teaching me to play chess
And never stopped playing.
I'm sorry your doctors didn't take you seriously.
I'm sorry you died so painfully.

Now I sit at the foot of my Christmas tree
Writing you this letter
of apologies
that you will never read.

I love and miss you with all my heart
I hope something actually exists up there
I really hope it does
I promise I will visit someday
I love you so much.

Goodbye Meme.
I love you!