so, i put my hand on your face
in a wave of wanting closeness,
in a wave of resisting fear
and it washed over me
and passed us by
as if it was hardly ever there

i had my hand on your face
and thought: this is vulnerability

and thought: i will hurt you

and thought: i will hurt you

and thought: i will hurt you


and i could not stop it. i could not stop the thought.

and i waited for the wave of bravery, of resilience, of belief in the greater good to wash over me.

but it was like waiting for a train that never came