In fighting for you
I lost.
I lost the most important
thing worth fighting for
I lost myself.
No longer, carefree, fun loving.
not even close to happy.
I was a mess.
I was hurt, angry, scrambling to retain
anything from us that I could.
I didn't understand.
I looked at myself, I didn't understand what I was
doing, who I was becoming.
I still don't.
I look at you, why did you do what you did
and who did you become because of it
Do you know.
I look at us. and I realize. there is no us.
There is a you, and there is a me and to each
other that is all there can ever be.
Will we ever be happy, without us.
JCM © 7/11/13