Looking for the answers
Looking toward the future
Finding nothing but questions
Along with doubt and self loathing

How could I be so stupid
How could I let myself cave in
Change is just so scary
When depression has you bound and gagged

Now's the time to hold my head up
Let stress and worries subside
Let the heart crumble away
And regain a sense of pride

What can I live and live without?
What can I do to become?
A better version of myself
One who overcomes

There's a needle hole
Dripping with blood
Red as an apple
From what I've just done

And as I slowly slip away
A vision of my mom
Begins to disappear
Is love but a memory?

Sometimes in this loneliness
I wonder if people are cancer
Infecting earth and each other
Without malice or care

What am I
Just a bag of bones
A gangrenous picture
A placid mural

And uninteresting
Sad but dying
Organism
Of truly invisible stature

Its a ghastly truth to behold
When normal get olds
And only bright fleeting lights
Make sense anymore

If I can't numb these edges
I might as well push to die
Find the thinnest line
Of what is wrong but feels right