Tonight at a party there was a boy who looked exactly like you,
same perfect rounded almond eyes,
same scruffy slightly curly hair,
his eyes were even green, as I recall.
While I barely even know him, I found myself trying to be in his presence more than anyone else,
If he went outside I would take note, and eventually follow,
when he came inside, the same thing.
When we would talk I would feel my heart speed up.
I do not know this boy,
I most certainly do not love this boy,
but in the moment this boy became hot summer nights in the back of a Toyota pickup,
he became initials carved into half the trails in town,
he became drunken nights of confessing everything to each other,
he became the best friend I ever had,
he became what once was my world,
and the painful wall of nostalgia hit me in the heart like a shotgun,
even though I know I'm better without you,
and even though I know things would never have worked,
I loved you more than you will ever know,
and I still do, I suppose.
And the boy tonight was a painful reminder that I will be looking for you,
in every person I'm with for a long time,
because you were great,
and together we were great,
and I wish love alone had been enough to keep us both happy,
but it wasn't,
and things fall apart,
but I wish they didn't.