I got stuff I need to do; Typical productive stuff; Gym, little projects, cleaning, whatever; 'But' I can't;
It's almost a full year since I lost you; I mean we talked in the middle of that period sure but you weren't there; Not the 'you' that I wanted anyway;
sigh I gotta keep playing games and watch movies to keep my mind busy; Freakin mind accepts those things as distractions but not the more productive stuff; Who the heck designed my mind?; I want a refund;
I did try...honestly I did; I tried to be productive for a week; You invaded my mind and kept replaying the worst moments over and over and over again; I ended up not eating for over 48 hours...and I'm going on 49 right around now; Haha;
I miss you; I don't want to; I hate you; But I need you; Others will say I don't actually need you...that includes my mind;
A 'need' is something you have to have in your life otherwise you'll die, right?; Water, food, shelter, socializing - those are what you need, right?; Well I dunno...cause it feels like I'm dying pretty slow;
It's like being unhappy with you is better than where I am now....crazy; Maaaaan....I don't wanna die because of you; That would really ****;