I feel sad for your plight.
You love one, but yearn for another.
It will be okay
Whatever your heart decides.
Your steadfastness is beautiful
And your loyalty is inspirational.
For someone who, I find,
Feels she has such low standards and low opinions of herself,
I must confess
I look up to you a great deal.
(Despite the obscene obsession with *****)

P.S.
Though your ability to win at drinking games
Is in short, astounding.