I love you
I think.
Or maybe I love the concept of you.
I love what you could have been.
I love what we pretended you were.
I love what I assumed you were
Under the surfaces your cactus-needle fists
And broken glass tongue.
I love what is good in comparison to you.
I love the way I see brilliant colors
And hear beautiful sounds
In your absence.

I do not hate you.
I do not hate the chicken scratch doctor notes
Saying you need to up your dose of
Chill the **** out – erol
And take a step back – etine.
I do not hate your late night screaming.
I do not hate your isolation and destroy foreign policy-
Your invasion into my life
And your crimes against my humanity.
I do not hate you
Because I have seen how much you already
Hated yourself,
Hated me,
Hated everyone
And everything
And everywhere
And life.
I do not hate you
Because I love you

I think.