Of course this world ends with a party.

I know when the door opens. Nothing else, except that to be included I must be let in. I peer out to the street, see others the same. I remember the days when we waved. When we spoke. They cover their mouth with a hand when they feel me watching, and I cover mine. When to leave? When to leave? Now.

I am Masked, smile lost and soul hidden. I abandon the injured, the sleeping, the drunk… I pray they will make it, I do. But not before me. I wade through *******, tall grass and plastic. See carrier-bags strung and dancing like ghosts along dead telephone wires. It used to be bad, harmed wildlife and birds.

There is none of that to fret over now.

~

The door is closed, so I join a line.

I watch eyes and limbs for signs of does-not-fit-in, and keep check of my own. The Needled dally unmasked, leering. To pass time they snap insects and dust from thick air. Quick-tongued, but dark hair and green eyes like mine. Their line moves fast and babbles, their line is happy. My line is stagnant and scared.

His respirator voice has all menace sieved from it, he sounds stupid, and I bite back a laugh. I am expected to speak. To answer. But my mind is consumed by panic and riddled with holes. Words bloom and cackle. Explode into the noise, meaning is gone. The door gapes wide open now. I am expected to speak.

A new world starts tomorrow...

~

The door gapes wide open, I am expected to speak.

I turn to answer, see my daughter a few places back. We arrived apart. Bonds unsafe, thoughts exposed. I am distracted, words burn in my throat. Her hands are shoved deep into her coat. Clever girl, she knows how to hide. But I worry she’ll bite, get blood on her mask, that they’ll think she bleeds ‘cause she coughs.

I lift my hand to my own covered mouth, tap-tap, tut-tut. Pray that she understands. I am expected to answer, but I can’t. She won’t be allowed if they find out she stims. Then she lowers her head, slow-slow and unseen. She is ice. She is glass. She is amazing. Words I don’t believe in claw free from my tongue.

I am pushed hard, two steps then gone.