I didn't know
That there was life outside those cramped walls
Of the hell I called my home
I stand here now
Where open sky surrounds me
And this freedom
Feels more constrictive
Than those walls ever did

I didn't know
That I wouldn't know how to stand
When I was no longer being forced
To kneel before the lie
That broke my heart
These beautiful spaces
Are too bright for my eyes
That only knew the dark

I didn't know
That the cruel lessons they taught me
And those I had to teach myself
Those things that helped me survive
Weren't going to help me live
Here on the other side
Of this"happy ending"
In a world I never thought was real

I didn't know
That there would come a time
When all of my pretending
Would have to come undone
All the wounds of battles past
Would have to be bled dry
Of the infections and lies
That never let me heal

I didn't know
That I would ever find
Someone to believe in
Who could peel away these lies
And hold me as I shake
With the fear I couldn't show
And the tears I couldn't cry
Please don't walk away

I didn't know
That when the battle passed
I would still be fighting
It's all I've ever known
Not knowing how to give up
How can I surrender now
I thought I'd run forever
But you speak to me of rest

I didn't know
That I was still human
Still allowed to feel
That anyone would ever want me
Or that I could be good enough
So speak the truth to me
But be patient
As I learn to believe it

I didn't know