And the little slip of paper said,
“Have you ever contemplated suicide?”
And there were check boxes underneath,
One said Yes and the other No,
And this sounds like a simple question but I don’t know how to answer.
See I’ve thought about what life might look like if I wasn’t in it,
Sometimes I write suicide notes
with what I think is no intention,
Some days I can’t get out of bed,
And I think about the people who will feel better when I’m gone.
But I haven’t laid on the bathroom floor with a pill bottle,
I haven’t held rope in my hand with a place to hang it,
People always assume contemplating suicide means holding a gun and putting it down,
Being at the hand of death and only looking over the edge,
And although it could be that really,
Contemplating suicide is cutting up an apple and thinking,
Maybe your family would be happier without you.
Its doing homework and thinking about what your teacher would think,
Or sitting in the shower,
Wondering if it will get better.
People say suicide is a one word answer,
But they never take into account the paragraphs before.
So as I’m sitting there,
Reading the question that I still don’t have the answer to,
I check no,
And think about it all day.