This morning, I dropped a mug
and expected you to come running.
Just like old times, darling.

It took a while before I went to your bedroom.
I sat your old teddy at my feet, just as you used to.
Tears - like hurricanes -
whipping up the salty spray
Carrying me beneath the waves.

"It's okay," they say.
"Take all the time you need."
There will never be enough time
to make up for all that you had needed.

This evening, I visited your grave.
Just a little square in the ground. What was it,
two foot by four?
You would be sixteen now. Is that right
or has time turned in on itself,
slipping into unconsciousness
Just as I am?

Thirteen years passed far too quickly.
Thirteen years since
since everything

and the scream still echoes in my head.
If only I had stood before you.
Been there to catch you.

Three years, my darling.
You didn't have long enough.