The cards... are stacked... against me.

I’m a young woman
who stands at just 4’8
I’ve been told not to self-deprecate
and that I should appreciate what I have
But it’s kinda hard to obfuscate that the cards are stacked against me

I was adopted from China when I was two,
I could barely name my colors, red, yellow and blue
but all too soon I knew
that the cards were stacked against me

So I pursue an education,
Looking for an overdue explanation,
Some form of information
as to who stacked all these cards against me?

And I find that the system,
That prides its rhyme and rhythm,
Well they hide a list of victims
and so they decided they’ll stack the cards against me

Being bi,
and being not-so-shy,
and seeing colors in vibrance, from the grass to the sky
I'm not so good at lying
but it won't make a difference,
it's enough of a hindrance,
that the cards are stacked against me

So I'll be careful to lock my car,
And not walk too far,
I'll sit pretty and eat saffron and caviar,
But I won't forget that I can’t even wish on a shooting star
To shift the tables
and abandoned the labels
because not even in Aesop's fables
is there a time when the cards aren’t stacked against me

My life like a delicate card house resting on a cable
I'm a little unstable
But now the cards are spread out on the table
I turn one over, and it’s an ace of spades
And it feels like all the barricades
That had locked me in this cage
For ages
slowly start to evaporate.
And I wonder if maybe I had exaggerated
And this mindset my mind had created
Had been stated the wrong way,
And I had hated myself for unrelated reasons
and weight could finally be lifted off my shoulders

These shoulders that had carried the world
All of its boulders and sticks and secret hidden pearls,
And it feels like maybe just being a girl
doesn’t mean I can’t value my own safety
And drive a Mercedes
and be a nice lady
until I'm old and achy
and even then ill will remember

That just because it feels like the cards are against you
Doesn’t mean you’re worries aren’t real or your feelings aren't valid
It’s not easy, this world that we live in
But given, that the cards are dealt randomly
A bad hand does not land you so deeply in the sand
That you shouldn't get up each day
and try to understand,
That the card dealers are people too

They have families and homes
and muscles and bones
They bleed the same blood
And need the same love
That all humans work for

And maybe they were born with a stack piled high
Or two’s and four's and jacks and nines
And maybe they felt like if they turned a blind eye
And became a card dealer,
they wouldn't have to deal with the fact that their pile is against them too

So the next time you feel like your life isn't good enough
Don't let your mind or the dealers lie or call you bluff,
Spread the cards on the table
and one by one you'll be able,
To turn them over and be a little more stable
Because the cards are stacked against all of us
until we remove the number and suit labels