I remember all the times,
you use to cry in pain
I'd curl up in my bed,
crying just the same

I was confused all the time,
not knowing you were ill
Not for a temporary time,
eventually it would ****

More than anyone could imagine
It was not only my mother
My world would soon, die inside
It would crumble like no other

It scattered it's poison throughout my soul
to continue it's destruction,
Of not only her life, that was cut too short
and my ability to function

Becoming socially awkward,
Severely emotionally damaged
Dysfunctional ways of interacting
How the hell did I ever manage?

Anxiety and depression
has been present the entire time
I can't recall a single moment
when I can say I was feeling fine

She was the one I was suppose to lean on
when the world seemed unforgiving
She was suppose to convince me
this life was still worth living

She was suppose to answer
all the unanswered questions I had
To teach me how to live in this world
and be thankful for what you have

This terrible monster
in an instant took my soul
Took my mother's very last breath
And left my heart so cold

With craters inside
and cavities in my heart
My soul is now lost at sea
"Mom I never thought we'd be apart"

There is no way I can emphasize
the exact emotional pain
I see it written on paper
but it doesn't hit that vein

So alone I sit in silence
Some days are used to reflect
Searching for a way back to my soul
Desperate to reconnect

Then I realized one day
When I felt this gentle breeze
My soul wasn't lost at sea at all
Because my mother lives in me