to be honest, i've never known exactly why
my self-esteem has never been very high.
no matter how hard i seem to try,
failure ebbs and flows in my life, predictable
just like a tide.

lately failure seems to have quickened it's pace
and i can't say i've handled it with grace
i walk around, with my smile mask plastered on my face
hoping no one sees just how badly i feel out of place
this tsunami of failure, and self hate
is one i cannot seem to shake.

my inner critic is putting in more hours than the traditional nine to five.
i don't even know if what i'm feeling classes me as still alive
i feel as though i've become a zombie, freshly crawled from the grave.
just mumbling, and stumbling around
trying to find self-esteem without falling down.