You ask me what I live for
And I tell you, "I live for you"
When in truth I live for the sea and the beach
the waves that beckon and beguile without ever asking me to hang.
Without ever asking me for time that was not their own.

They ask me what I live for
And I say "I live for love"
But I don't. I live for the drugs and the money and the ***
the human weakness in me and the easy numbing.
The things that never ask me questions too hard to answer.

You ask me why I can't stay sober
And I tell you "It's just for parties. Just for fun"
So when I sit on my bathroom floor, paper straw and credit card
I know in myself I am lying.
It is a lie I cannot stop telling.

I ask you why you love me
And you say "I love you because -"
And the stream of adjectives you pour out are a kindness to me
not your truth, a white lie.
I cannot but wonder, what else is false.