Reading the words of a woman of flames
gone up into the sky at her will
with greater forces inside her than in a planet
I feel quietly disturbed
sad that I cannot help her
make her happy somehow
but she was smarter than me to be sure
smarter than most.
She knew what she wanted,
I only wish that it had been happiness.
I read her words sitting on a rock by the lake,
the rusty green water licking the large white stones.
I take a long flat leaf and tie it inside itself,
once straight, now making it form an L.
I toss it with some vigor into the water
but it only goes inches in front of me,
oscillating in the shallow,
wanting to come back to it's creator.
I knew that she saw beauty in the world around her,
I wish ardently that I could know why it was not
enough.
What great awful power must have pushed against her.
That I am in the same world that once carried her unsettles me;
that a world may be ****** and cruel by one's perception,
and not by another's.
I see a dragonfly with it's impossible wings
trying with all of its self
to go against the wind of an indifferent lake.
Into it she plunged
I sit but on the edge, looking.