💫💫💫
i dont want your words
to hurt me anymore
and I don’t want your thoughts
to affect me
ever again
I keep trying to please you
I just really want you to love me
but your expectations
are unattainable
and I will never be good enough.
for so long
I’ve been tearing myself apart
for a single drop of your acceptance
and I have changed so much
I had to lose myself
to find comfort in your arms
but the safety of your protection
didn’t bring me peace
and I have been at war with my soul
for so long
I am exhausted.
I am finally learning
that your benediction
is not what i need
for my body to flourish
and for my mind to bloom
therefore I promise myself
that I will not keep fighting
I am raising the white flag
and if you still want to change me
then come and plunder my lands
because I won't try to stand anymore
against an unbeatable army
so you can try to destroy me
but you will never hurt me again
i have come to understand
that my existence follows a path
and you are not a part of it.
i can finally breathe
after all these years
of holding my breath
the eggs may hatch
because I will not walk on them
after all these restless nights
may I finally sleep
with both eyes closed
because I am not scared
of your demons.
and if this version of myself
does not match your expectations
then may your expectations
stay unmatched
because for the first time in forever
I am free.