Passion, Pain, Power,

I must use impactful words to make a statement,
to grab attention.

I should be exciting, emotive, evocative or entertaining
to ensure I'm heard.

These words don't resonate with me though, they don't tell my story.
They spill from my fingers but not from my heart.
I use them as a tool to describe how others tell me they feel.
I use them to pretend I bleed the same.

Be controversial, be explicit, be different, be dramatic.
My words should dazzle and lure, sparkle and shine.

But inside I'm grey.
Inside I'm void.

If I have never loved, and therefore never lost, then my thoughts travel like an empty vessel that require a glossy branding of impactful words to stand out in the crowd

But the words aren't my truth.

I haven't hurt, I haven't cried, I haven't yearned.

So my truth isn't heard.

How can I communicate that feeling nothing is maybe the most painful feeling of all?