I was 12 again.
Helpless, angry and just wanted the yelling to end.
I couldn't sleep through it and knew each long pause would end with longer explosions of objects being thrown curses being yelled and bodies hitting the floor. Each time I'm caught in the middle trying to play peacemaker, but this time there was no peace. She wasn't my family tonight.
I looked at her, really looked at her and smelled her really smelled her, and she was a different person. Like one of those people on the street that you wonder how they ended up there. Well this was how she would end up there. I couldn't find herself in her eyes, but this helpless self loathing creature that took host in her body 2 years ago when life was supposed to really begin.
Why do we always end up here?
On the floor wrestling screaming in a frenzy, cursing like sailors each of our eyes gleaming red with blind rage.
I was 12 again, protecting my mother.
I fought a part of me to protect a part of me.