i'm not entirely sure where to begin.

is it practical to discuss the lack of contact we've had? how we fit the mold of "perpetual estrangement" like Wentworth and Anne? do i dare make that connection since they end up together and we, sadly, didn't?

do i speak about how i thought we were a waste of time? or how i changed my mind and decided that i needed us in order to grow? do i mention that i miss you? that i have to force myself not to text you when i drink too much or smell a rose?

do i mention that my sister found your old perfume in my closest and decided to wear it? that my home smelt of you for weeks and i ached for you?

or do i mention that i know you're going through a hard time based on what i've seen on social media? that i can still read you, even when given the most minute details?

i'm still not entirely sure where we stand or how you feel.
it's 5 years later and i still feel the same, but things are different now.