there's no easy
way to say
these things
but god you
break my *******
heart sometimes
what's worse is
I no longer care
because its you
breaking it
and I can feel
the pieces of
my heart splitting
and falling away
from the vessels
like rocks from a
cliff
i don't know if
I can breathe the
right way or talk
the right way or
if it is even possible
to be the same
person as I was
before the first day
of summer
when your lips
touched mine
and I kept my eyes
open because I
wanted to see how
you acted
I wanted to remember
you by this moment
by how you took
off your glasses
and by how you
looked at me
and ran fingers
through your hair
and how you acted
like a child holding
death in his hands
holding me in
your hands
but they were big
enough to catch
all of the cracked
pieces of my
heart and you didn't
give up on me
when I bit my lip
and said

i don't know

it's what I needed
it's what I need
but you've slipped
out of my grip
my hands are not
as big as yours
and I lost you
to something else
or someone else
or whatever else
you are occupied with
it's not me
and I feel selfish for
saying such things
but I can't help
thinking that you
should answer when
I am crying
because your hands
are not beneath
my heart right now
and the pieces are
stabbing my insides .

**I can't live anymore .