You know how in the movies
Cary Grant got away with
Everything? Like in Charade
He tricked Audrey Hepburn

Into helping him and went by
Peter, Alex, Joshua, each time
She learned his "real" name
Thought "I know him now and

I could love him better than he's
Ever been. He will never lie to
me again." And she dreamed
About his olderman lips and

His olderman hips that had
Certainly been around the block
A few times and definitely knew
A thing or two about the things

Her mother warned her about
She leans into him anyway
The sweeping music begins
The camera pans discreetly

Over to the wall, modesty
Is the best policy afterall
And the next morning he's
Singing in her shower, she's

Finally solved the mystery of
How he shaves in that sensual
Chin dimple get a woman to
Do it for him, she's weak in the

Knees thinking about her hand
On the razor and getting weaker
When he saves her from Walter
Matthau's evil clutches and James

Coburn, the other villains are long
Forgotten so they live happily ever
After and sing together in the shower
For about a week until she learns he's

Someone else. Not even Peter, Alex,
Joshua, so many men he's forgotten
He leaves her crying holding the
Straight razor in her forlorn little

Fingers. He was just a guy named
Arthur who charmed her with a
Funny accent then walked out the
Door and ran up her water bill like
A cad