After careful revision…here we go.
This was written in response to a journal post by another user, a rather delusional ex-Daddy who needs a little clarification on his facts. I utilized the reference name “Letter Writer” because I do not believe acknowledging him with attention would spotlight the accurate “*******” message I’m trying to relay here. It is long however it was important to me that I addressed each part of his *******, in essence closing this crazy chapter of my life. It is not required that you read it all the way through, however you are welcome to if you wish.
When I originally wrote this piece I was very flippant in my use of the Letter Writer’s name and for that I will apologize because while I do believe he should be called onto the carpet for his ****, my using his name was the same level of wrong as him using my name when he wrote the journals of his own laying out what he believed were my every “trespass” against him. Well my friend, or thankfully not even one I would qualify as more than “Somebody that I used to know”, there are a few truths that you seem to have forgotten so it appears you may need a refresher course. The reality is I don’t need to use your name, you know exactly who you are and although you shouldn’t even be able to see this I’m sure you will find your way to it. So without further ado, read on. For the sake of your privacy I’ll simply refer to you as Letter Writer. As you so carefully laid your insults to me into words onto the page for all of the Fet world to see, although they have somehow disappeared now. Pity.
To further explain, the original Letter Writer’s words will be in bold quotes as I do not claim them as my own, but they will help my “responses” make sense.
”Oh my dear Gracie, where shall I begin?”
Those were your words, or don’t you remember?
The only way I can respond to that is simply to defend her
The fact that both she and I are no longer yours,
Better yet, we weren’t yours to begin with.
Oh dear, bi-polar, (thank God in Heaven you are no longer my) Letter Writer…
You spin your words so carefully to shine your condemning spotlight on me,
Acting as if my absence from you, has left you in such grief.
Oh wait, I misunderstood then? You really don’t care you say?
That’s funny because your continual writings, your constant turn of phrase;
Which repeatedly speak directly to me, rings out with a different tune I’m afraid.
Oops, maybe you actually don’t see it? Well isn’t that a shame?
Well I’ll make it really simple for you and I’ll even respond in your own way.
I’ll even use the same condescending tone which your words always displayed.
Oh gee, I DO hope it relays:
”She used to say she loved me when I swept her off her feet”
That was before things changed between us
Then I was nothing more to you than your “treat”.
When all our “dynamic” meant to you,
Was simply another avenue to pursue
More numbers in your fan club or our Littles’ group;
Or let’s not forget the “loves” and “views”
Which seemed like such a priority to you.
One little thing I should remind you of, oh Letter Writer dear,
Is that group that you and your new Little now share?
What you both call “home”, is simply the group where
You and I played almost constantly,
A place that you specifically built for me.
Not that I’m looking to collect on that lease
But one thing I do wonder you see,
How does she feel to know she’s only following my lead?
Well regardless of her feelings it’s the truth that you seek,
Isn’t the taste of reality sweet?
”She used to say she loved me while she practiced her deceit”
Wow Letter Writer my dear, you’ve really got to learn to breathe,
You speak as if you were a dream,
A knight who swooped in to rescue me
When in all reality
You never really delivered on the whole “Daddy” thing,
Leaving us unbalanced, and forcing me to lead.
You’ve created this whole fantasy, which to you isn’t too far gone.
So rather than choose to beat this dead horse,
I think its best we just move on.
”She used to say she loved me and I thought it was a fact.”
I used to say I loved you and I’ll admit at one time it was true.
There was a season in our lives, (no matter how brief),
When I imagined my happiness would be with you.
However my education came later much to my relief,
Now I’ve discovered a real level of truth.
And I feel like it was you who offered deceit.
”She used to say she loved me just to get inside my head”
It’s hysterical to me that you say I played games
Just to get inside of your head.
Oh I don’t have to invite any others,
You have your own circus there instead.
Not my circus, sure as hell not my monkeys
That’s an issue your new “Little” gets to address.
It’s like this delusional place where you’re blinded
Against the plainest of realities
In failing to see the truth behind my words
Of exactly what you were to me.
No worries, read on, and you will begin to see.
”She used to say she loved me when we Skyped all through the night.”
”She used to say she loved me to pretend that all was right.”
Regardless of what you choose to believe
I trusted you with a lot at one time.
Then you showed me my trust had been misplaced,
And instead of the “Daddy” you promised I faced
Daily struggles to settle the Little you claimed
Never existed all along.
Anyone who knows you, well enough in fact, can clearly see
That within you can be found either a split personality,
Or simply a Little refusing to accept or believe,
Where it is that they truly belong.
So let’s keep going you know I have to make sure,
To address each of your ramblings just to ensure
That clarity is given, as it seems that you have endured
So many hardships that its hard to count.
”She told me that she loved me when I tucked her into bed.”
How funny of you to mention tucking me into bed.
You mean that lovely nightly routine when you looked at me and said,
“You’ve got what you need, now make yourself sleep.”
So let me just say wow, that’s truly unique
Your heartfelt delivery really cuts a girl deep.
As our bedtime routine instead of offering release,
Died rather slowly, until I’d rather fake sleep
Than pretend it even remotely worked,
Which would be one hell of a joke indeed.
I really hope that you’ve improved upon that, although not for my sake at all.
My concern is for the Little you “Daddy”,
Who I’d think must have a pretty strong resolve.
To be so accepting of whatever charm you’ve sold
Hell in her mind, you must **** gold
That she would be willing to reach into her very own soul
To create her own imaginary Daddy to behold
To find her own peace for rest.
”She told me that she loved me when I gave her pants and sighs.”
So on we go, moving forward yet again
To read of the pants and sighs.
Because after all the only thing a relationship needs
Is *** and more ***, didn’t you realize?
Oh wait, haven’t you heard? Maybe you haven’t after all,
There are actually relationships that do invest their all
Into other facets of life, not just the physical.
As if it were the only connection,
Where there is no need for the emotional.
Because let’s both be honest, that’s what you wanted if you’ll recall.
There are serious concerns for your health.
Not only speaking physically but I address also your emotional need
This obvious drive for you to speed, barreling into everything head first.
”She used to say she loved me after ******* other guys.”
So now let’s speak briefly of the “other guy”,
Whom you so righteously point out.
That point is completely irrelevant to me,
As I was so privileged to recently read
That from your ex-wife you are finally freed.
After what, 4 years, your post read?
Funny to me that when asked point blank how much time had passed
Since your divorce had been gone,
You looked directly at me and said, “It’s been three years since it was done.”
Wow! The courts must really be struggling
To clear out the back-up you see.
If it was finalized three whole years ago,
Yet you were only just now freed.
So now who offers deceit, Letter Writer?
Admittedly it’s not too far for your reach.
It’s just hilarious to me,
How you preach ever so righteously
When you were so willing to fly to **** me
All the while spewing your own lies, don’t you see
The irony of it all?
Yes when we met I was married it’s true.
A fact which I did not hide from you.
At least I was honest about what we were,
Why could you not offer the same?
You were the other guy for a short sum of days,
Until you no longer met the grade
And then suddenly it was all on me to pay
Your fun having ended, your hand having been played.
And now our game has come to an end.
How easy for you to step back and play stupid
When you were between those sheets with me, lucid
All in all, very well present in that moment
Until now, when you’ve conveniently forgotten, how appropriate.
Whatever’s said now, the deed was then done.
So grow a pair, dear Letter Writer, man up and move on.
”She used to say she loved me while she lied to her best friend.”
Oh yes, and about the best friend that you speak of?
Don’t continue to be so naïve.
She was involved in this more than you say,
However this isn’t a game that we’ll play
As she and I have re-bonded, recovering our place
And we’ve left our trash on the curb.
So let me pause for a question, oh thorough and calculating Dom.
For someone who claimed to be monitoring me,
Who has such knowledge, access to technology
Let’s speak about this instance of when I allegedly did cheat.
How is it that of this mishap you were so unaware, until I inadvertently shared?
It seems to be, oh no possibility there,
Another lie did my sweet innocent Letter Writer bare?
Oh I’m grateful for your lessons, the ones you’ve taught me here.
If someone radiates crazy, it’s wisest to just steer clear.
You’ve demonstrated so clearly every one of those traits.
Which tell a girl, “Crazy lives here!”
You should have the license plates made.
Like e-mails to my parents,
Within months of when we did meet.
Confessing your undying love for me and your long term plans to retreat;
Uprooting yourself and moving to a new state,
To come and move in with me
All before my divorce was finalized,
Which you don’t talk about; oh gee.
Continuing on that thought, there is so much to lay out.
Let’s see, constant posts indirectly at me here on Fet,
Or the job you still find yourself without?
Oh wait no, you’re an entrepreneur now,
A leather business from what I hear!
Congratulations, that’s so exciting.
So let me ask you, how does it feel?
It’s eating me up, I must know!
The knowledge that your source of support
Is your Little’s savings account
Rather than an employable skill of your own.
Or you know, one thing is for sure,
Family is always good for a loan.
”She told me that she loved me while she had another guy.”
In the same vein, this new Daddy you’ve called out
Has taught me lessons as well, but they’re simply more about
What to expect from a Daddy, things I never got from you.
Not how to balance life with a switch or a little,
Which you demonstrated those how-to’s.
His traits illustrate Daddies a little can genuinely trust
And who gives a **** for my wellbeing too.
Beyond the point of being a toy for him to use.
Which I’ll say is fun, when the balance is there too.
I must admit, my favorite part to this whole tale
Is that you still have this need to prevail
So you must broadcast your lives in detail
Just to prove how happy you are.
Well in that I say good luck to both of you
I can’t imagine how it must truly exhaust you two
However I can’t choose for you, to find happiness within yourselves.
With that, in one thing, I agree you speak truth.
Your words are stale and hollow, having lost their value
Funny though it seems your past haunts you still
As you can’t seem to muster the strength or the will
To leave all the ******* behind even still
I’ll bet you’re already planning a response.
However I’ve said my peace, no more duels, I’m done.
In reality I’ve found where my puzzle piece fits,
Where I am most happy, in the midst of all of this.
I hope you reach for your Little, not dismiss
Finding solace in what you claim to have in line
And within that solace learn to leave the past where it belongs, behind.
Grace
07/07/2015