For awhile now I’ve had some outlet,
But now I just feel trapped.

There’s a stirring of emotions, welling deep in my soul
But I can’t escape the instinct to run from it.
Keeping my sanity, keeping myself safe.

Safe? Was there ever such a word?
Or was it a naïve illusion,
Set there to draw me into false security?
To draw my defenses down and allow danger in?

How was it so easy to freeze then but to run now?
My inward battle rages on.
Leaving me confused, empty and tired.
With nothing left to give or say.

I fad into silence once more,
Taking my refuge there.
Blocking every sound, sight, every other person out.
And once again you are left outside,
While I’m inside begging myself to trust
And to finally let you in.

-Marie
02/08/2007