Through the haze of my discordant thoughts,
I struggle to find my long lost peace.
In this realization that my battle is lost,
I lose even the strength to bury it deep.

My desire to smile as if it’s okay
To pretend that all is perfect and fine
Dissipates more with each sip that I take
Of this liquid courage, its burn is my fire.

Another few sips and my mind starts to drift
Not unlike another state of mind
In which I’ve felt my spirits lift
Yet this time instead of lifting I’m bound
Not rising up but falling down
Why is this happening, why all of this now?
This makes no ******* sense.

It’s like I stand looking into a mirror
Where my reflection has nowhere to hide
She stands there watching me vacantly
All of my wounds apparent to me
Yet she begs of me only to believe
That on her own she’ll be fine.

Angry now hot tears start to fall
As I hear the truth behind her words
Understanding the lie that they are trying to tell
And I feel her lack of self-worth.

I want nothing more than tell her
That it’s alright to show true
That this is a safe place for her
And she can show herself to you.
Yet I struggle to find the words
Feeling how much she has to lose
As the walls I’ve built up start crumbling
And through this haze I’m stumbling
Finding this all rather humbling
Wondering when it will end.