These are the words I am afraid to speak,
For fear that someone will hear them.
I’m angry past the point of tears,
But there is no outlet to scream here.

I’ve cried so many tears that I could drown,
But instead of moving up, I’m falling down
Am I wrong, feeling all of this now?
How does this all make sense?

Shaking I put my pen to the paper,
Unsure still of the words to write.
My heart can’t hold back the words,
But to my mind they all seem so trite.

I fell that I’m all but normal,
Because this blocking wall is so high.
On the outside I can make it look alright,
But on the inside I want to die.

All because of the weight of this shame,
I can’t even look into your eyes.
I am ashamed of my own ignorance
My stupidity almost cost me my life.
I pause re-read that statement again,
Maybe I did give up my life.

Re-read it again,
Now I finally understand the emptiness of that night.
On the inside, I died.
-Marie
09/06/2006