I tremble and my heart jumps into my throat.
In the darkness I listen intently.
For a sound, some sign that you’re here with me,
But no longer can I pacify my pounding heart with sound.

I must see you,
I need to see that you’re real.
Not some fake concoction
A device of my own creation,
Meant to fool me into peace.

But again, things have changed.
Still, as I see you resting soundly in my sights,
My eyes blink and I’m in another place entirely.

Sleep is but a fond memory,
A time when darkness meant rest,
And a sweet dream or two.

Now my mind wrestles in the twilight hours
With a whirlwind of thoughts.
And those images aren’t just images
I’m in the movie playing inside my mind.

Screaming I fall into the corner, begging not to seen or heard.
Another night, another battle.
And when the morning comes, I am defeated.

Marie
09/06/2006