This is no longer a relationship,
But simply a religion instead.
Nay, not religion, an order of steps
That as a trained circus animal,
I seem to follow the routine.

Screaming out of frustration,
I try to step out of line,
To suddenly break the pattern,
To beat my own path, but then I trip.
I stumbled and fall and am drug back into the steps
That drag me back toward mediocrity.

Though I scramble to get away,
Scraping away at the lock that holds me in,
When in fact,
It is I who holds the keys.

I wear my spirit to the point of exhaustion.
Til I am ready to surrender it all.
Then Jesus speaks so clearly into my mind
“But I went through hell for you.”

Weakly I pull myself to my feet and wearily I push on.
Through another hour, another day, til the day to you I will belong.

-Marie
07/05/2005