with every inhale
comes the unbearable realization that
while you are not,
i am still here.

my ribs crack with
every shift of my body

my chest is bound with no hope for freedom.

i see more than you ever could.
with every exhale you gave
came a burst of flowers and life.

everything you touched was whole and good
and everywhere i look there is only death

i bring nothing good into this world
and yet somehow you made it okay.

you were honey and earth
you were yellow and fish and smiles.
you were everything.

were.


granted,
youre not dead.

you just decided to
join in on the hurt.

you ****** me
with a knife sharper than
anything id ever experienced before.

maybe it hurt more because it was you.

every moan that escaped me
turned into a scream
for you

every time you told me you loved me
suddenly turned into hatred.

i pretend that it is okay
and we can still be friends

yet every time you exhale
i am suddenly met with the stench of death.

everything you touch crumbles
and all that surrounds you is red

you are hatred and pain
anything that hurts
you have and hold dear.


i guess that makes me a *******