I'm so hell bent on fixing him
When I haven't even fixed myself
Fixated on a boy who wants to get inside me
It hurts because he doesn't even seem to like me
He's pretty much my Novacaine
I mean the way he affects my brain
I'm all doped up on his ******* lies
Bet I couldn't get away from him even if I tried
But it's not like I've made an attempt
Some other girl owns his heart and I'm paying that ***** rent
At the same time it could be a hallucination
After all, he is my drug and I'm not to keen on imagination
He's gotta have a good enough reason
For why his feelings change with the seasons
Maybe I'm just driving myself crazy,
But as soon as we got close enough he left me and maybe,
That just means he's afraid and needs someone to save him
Or I'm making up ****** excuses so I can have a reason to crave him
Without feeling like a little kid running after someone like her dad
Someone who leaves me alone wondering and wanting what we had
The only peace I recieve is hiding beneath these tears and sheets
Because finding peace in a person just means it hurts more when they inevitably leave
But why do I care so much
I've always given too many *****
And a while back I promised myself I'd stop
Because I'm afraid of falling and life has too many unseen drops
Kind of like a rollercoaster but you can't see it when you get to the highest point
And on the way down you scream so loud you lose your voice
Then you don't know how or who to ask if you have the right to be ornary
Because he ignores you all day, then night comes and he's *****
Well ****, I guess since I live down the street
I'm supposed to come easy like a nicely cooked piece of meat
In a restaurant for guys like you
But rather than take me on a date you'd have me shoo
I mean I guess I could leave you alone and go away
But then I'd just think about you all day
And wonder why you haven't called or texted
When I know for **** sure you have your phone but everyone says don't stress it
I dont know man
I've fallen so hard it's a struggle to stand
I guess I just refuse to see him for who he really is
A sheltered cold-hearted killer of girls who happen to like him