This morning I awoke slightly hollow.
I had seen you in my dreams.
The reunion of us was not sad, but not merry either.
It has been the only time you have held me in so long,
That I had almost forgotten how comforting it was.
The look in your eyes was almost sorry,
As if you could tell how conflicted I was.
I did not want to let go,
In both a sense of letting go and having you take ahold of me again,
But also not wanting you to stop embracing me.
If I did not remember this dream,
I still would have woken up hollow.
I would feel the slight ache in my chest,
The light pressure behind my eyes.
And I wouldn’t understand.
I almost wish I didn’t remember,
So I would not sit here
Thinking about what was,
And reminiscing what we were.
It aches,
And I cannot stop it.
Dreams are supposed to be happy,
But now when you enter mine
I only wake with a sense of sorrow.
I cannot escape it,
Because it is in my head.
You are in my head.
And even when I sleep,
You are there.
And when I wake…. you have not left.