i always wonder when things will be okay.
not forever, just until they're not again
and my bed stops smelling like Tide and starts smelling like me
and the water bill goes up and the phone bill goes down
and my heart starts to hurt like it used to.
i wonder when i won't walk with an anchor in my chest
when the people who cared start caring again
when i remember what feeling like myself feels like.
when i won't be embarrassed around razors
when i'll be tired as often as i say i am
when i'll try as hard you wish i would.