Do you remember the fire pit night?
Flames erupting to the stars
And that is when I placed my trust in you
and you, in me.
You didn't realize
I was aware of the line at the time-
that very fine line that defined everything.
He was mine- a ring to prove no crossing.
You had your own,
And I knew of that line as well
I found comfort in that line
I found innocent comfort in yours after you stole mine.

Filthy.
I recall feeling filthy.
How did you feel?
I never asked you.
I didn't care.
Heartless *****.
*******.
I never spoke of it.

My drunk, unbalanced feet paced to the door
and as my hand reached the ****
I climbed from my body to the air above
watching my physical self
swing the door open-
not abruptly.
I didn't have the confidence for that.
I didn't have the stomach, either.
But the instant I felt the smooth lines of the door,
and the faint, callous whispering
it was too late.
I was in.
You were on your knees,
straddling.
******* obvious-
he always said you had a wonderful chest.

I wonder how you tasted to him.
I also wonder how he felt to you.
Was he better than your own?
Did he ******* like your lover did?
Merciless woman.

I remember running after that.
Hands shaking to turn the key in an F150.
Screaming in my head before it hit my vocals.
Erupting, falling, shattering, crashing
Uncontrollable fragments of me thrown around the truck.
I remember my only rational thought
"How fast can this truck go?
How quick would that death be?"

I did not face it-
you were not worth it.

I held your lover in my arms.
You couldn't tell him
I DID.
Disheveled and helpless,
is that what I looked like?
I felt his tears and shaky breaths
turn to anger
and as he ****** fists into the wall
and cursed the God he believed in
I watched as his world falled apart, too.
You weren't there for him.
*It was the third time my entire life I've seen a man cry.