I had a dream
You and I laid together.
It was strange to see you;
How long ago we last laid it seemed!
Your hair the color of chocolate
And mine the shade of fire.
You and I could conquer the world,
Fight our fiercest fears,
Defeat our dastardly doubters.
Oh, we were such foolish teens!
You held me tight
With gangly arms
And nuzzled me sweetly,
Staring with distracted eyes.
"You are so pretty."
Phrases like fuel to my heart.
"You're lovely."
Syllables like steroids to my mind.
"I love you."
I love too, reaching
Reaching
To touch your pocked face
And that sweet little smirk.
You held me under you,
Held me tight and safe
And I
Feared nothing.
In your oily voice,
Drenched in troubled-teenage
Spirit
You said,
"I love you."
With that crude smile
"So much."
With that wince as I widened my eyes
"Don't you love me too?"
And I
Said
"I do not trust you."
It was courage, bravery; a Herculean
Feat.
I lept to my feet,
Growing in stature.
Bare and Bold
I stood my ground.
"I do not trust you."
I pushed down your damnations
And annihilated your accusations,
Careening to the door.
An escape, an exit, please.
Please, Lord, please.
I was victorious and valeant
And I was proud of me.
What a glorious dream.
Because in reality,
You called me pretty and you were right;
Pretty
Stupid,
Disappointing,
Aggravating,
Weak, whorseome,
Sad, broken
Disposable worthless
Horrible hideous hellish horrendous
Stupendously dull and too attached.
I was too attached
To trust myself
To let myself
Set myself
free.
I didn't
Couldn't
Wouldn't
go free.