everywhere I turn
there's a wall.
brick after brick,
piled up endlessly.
every corner turned
there's yet another wall.
how did I get here?
i feel so alone, so trapped.
i feel stuck in this brick prison.
and yet, still I can't recall
how I got here.

i remember the light inside of me
once radiating from every pore,
once shining out from the core
of my very being
went out.
the flame that carries my essence,
carries my very soul,
waned out slowly
like a candle,
until I was left in darkness.
but how?
yet again, I ask myself how
did I get here.

i want to blame the ones
who I shut down against.
ones who knocked and knocked
on my brick walls,
calling out to me
until I found a way to let them in.
the very same ones
who then hurt me.
each time they did
the bricks piled up more
and more.

with every part of myself
close to being irreversibly shut down
i can't bear to face it.
i've closed myself off
in a maze of brick walls
that I don't yet realize
is of my own making.
sad, frustrated, confused
i turn my inward gaze
outward instead.
i find a ladder,
using it to peer over my walls
and into the mazes of others.

i spend my time
helping others escape
their own brick prisons,
both self made
and otherwise.
but still I cannot look
at my own walls
which I carry with me
from maze to maze
keeping others
at arm's length.
bricks upon bricks
continue to pile on
making my walls
seem insurmountable.

ready to give up
and shut myself inside
these walls forever,
a tiny light beams in
through a crack
in one of my walls.
a familiar voice calls out
calling my name.
i do not want to be hurt again
so i listen to the voice
but shut myself down
from what they're telling me.

but the voice persists,
reminding me of my own strength.
you have built the maze
currently surrounding you.
you have laid down brick
after brick, and hidden inside
to protect yourself-
and in doing so,
you have imprisoned yourself.
only you can find the exit
because you created it.
only you can create openings,
windows in your maze,
because you created it.

and for the first time
in a long time
i actually believe.
i believe there's hope
because there's strength
in knowing that I can
tear down the walls of my own
making, if I chose.
i can find the exit
because only I know where it is.
so I open up that one
tiny, little crack in my wall
and let more light in.
i feel the warmth of
this light on my face,
for the first time
in a long time.