As an adolecent
in my new life,
...a life
without the pain
of knowing....
I knew instinctavly
I was to
rise
above
and  
beyond
my circumstance.
... away from
the physical
pain,
of fists
in my eyes.
and
steel pipes
against
my skull.
away now
from
the
constant belittling
the hate
filled
comments
and looks
of
disgust.
and of
the
horrifying tales
of
what
my
next fate
might
be..
even perhaps
my
fatality...
I have since
come to realize
my worth.
...my drive.
...my will.
More than
my realizations
of
what he was
and
or
where
I was....
I  
have
become
woman enough
to
meet myself.
to
come
to terms
with
how
I
lived
what
I
lived
what
I saw
and
what
I now
need
to live
as
My
true self.
I
once again,
have
been given
a gift.
...a connection
with
winged
and human
beings.
That,
along with
my
need
...to
stay alive...
is
..Not
just for me.
..But
I will be
a
lesson
for
all of those
beings,
who are
still
strugling
to get
past
the door.
Their door
to
freedom.
It
is possible
to rise above
those little minds.
...of the "bigger" people.
...of  those who think they have it all figured,
but know nothing of humanity, or just "being".
They know not of real strength.
...not of  kindness.
of love, and loving.
of caring,
of sacrifice.
The have never
and will not
feel compassion
for another.
They shall never experience true love,
nor will they experience love lost.
Nor
will they be
gifted
with
the
strength
of goodness
the
care for
all others,
nor
the
patients
it would
take
to
honestly hear
another being
in
a time of  need.
...For
these are
the only
true
gifts
we accumulate
during our walk
through this
world...
For SOMETHING...
..But WHAT thing?
I know now,
it was always for me...

experiencing the same pain and bewilderment,
The feelings of worthlessness.
..of nothingness..
No one cared anymore.
I traded all the love and care given by those who loved me most,
For a nightmare that would become part of my very soul.
I realize now,
in this adolecent stage of recovery
from
the mightmare
bestowed upon me,
I am worth
it
ALL!
I came away
with
my
LIFE!
...With
knowledge.
...With
compassion.
...With
understanding
of
what it means
to
be lost.
to be lost
in
someone else's
sadanistic
cruel
world.
...A world
wherin
HE
inflicted
his
tyrany
and
sadism  
upon me
during
every
waking
moment
..............of my life.