I cannot work.
I cannot work.
I cannot work.
(Really Ian, is that the best you can do?)
Ok, will try again

I cannot work.
I shall not work.
Far too lazy to work.
Did you ever really work?
Oh my god, what can I do next.

My nose hair grows.
My ear hair grows.
My little single pointy hair in between my eyebrows on my nose also grows.
My head hair doesn't

My man ***** are growing.
My waist is growing.
My fat head is growing.
My golden years of eating drinking and doing bgger all is behind me.

Hobbies to pass the time.
Flying, fishing and complaining about stuff.
Grumphing, moaning and grumbling.
Telling people to **** and bgger off.
Learning more from The Big Barnsley Book of Swearing.