I realized tonight that you don't really care about me
And you spit out words and aim to please
But you don't take into account that we are people
We live and we talk and I know
I have feelings! And you can't just play with them!
Say what you think I deserve and disregard the truth?
Is that what you think friendship is?
Is that what you think love is?
I feel like some old sofa
That might have gotten you through your glory years
But just has one too many stains for you now
So you move on to the next shinny new toy.
And you leave me on the side of the road
Hoping some poor guy who has no idea what he is getting into
Picks me up and takes me away,
And if someone doesn't
No problem
Once I've spent a good amount of time on the outside
looking in on the warmth I once knew
You will take me to the dump and get rid of me once and for all.
Is that all I am to you?
Stability and a blessing?
I got you through this year?
Is that all you want from me?
Are you done with me now?
Fine.
I will still give you everything
I will still give you all of me
Because I will never meet anyone I love more
At least I hope not to because I never want another person
who will be able to rip my heart out by saying nothing.
I knew it was too good to believe
I knew you'd find someone better
So why am I so upset that you did
Once again you lived up to my expectations.
Empty promises and empty bottles are all I have left of you
And I wish I could lie and say that's all I want from you
Because that would make this poem end in a nice neat bow
But that's not true.
I want more of you.
And I don't want to spend the rest of my life as your lap dog
I want you to live up to your words
Or take them back
Or just do something with them
Because as they are right now
They are reused and old and bled dry of any real emotion
They are rung out and left out to dry on the cloths line of my inbox
Hoping one day they will mean something more
But no longer having faith that things will ever end up the way I want them to
I can clean myself as much as you want
But I will always be scared and flawed
And that will never be good enough for you
I will never be good enough for you
At least that's how you make me feel
And no one should have that power
I want to be over you
But I'm slowly realizing that will never happen.
You told me you will always be in my life but I'm not sure if I want that
I just want you to tell me that I will be okay
But you can't
No one talks to their old couches
You tried to fix me
You tried to sew on patches to my broken heart
But I ask too much of you
I don't try to but it always seems like too much
It always seems like something else is more important
But you are the most important thing to me
So can you promise me something?
Instead of leaving me on the side of the road
Just leave me in your basement
Because that way maybe I'll think you will come back for me
And I will have something to live for
And I won't even care when you never return
My heart wont even hurt a little
Because sofas don't have hearts
And that's all I am.