I miss the way i didn’t care
A shield reflecting all opinions
Feeling of disapproval was rare
The number of acquaintances wasn’t millions
Drama would be where I sat at lunch
Not being disliked by a pair of boys
Or how I was too weak to throw a punch
My thoughts have become a killing noise
Meeting the wrong people cannot be reversed
They will haunt me forever, I can’t escape
It’s the pain that is the worst
My heart so damaged, I’ve run out of tape
To stop the bleeding, to stop the hurting
One way or another im dragged into another story
One that I wasn’t writing
Im living a life without glory

But its that gender who have so much power
Over me its suffocating
I seek ratification every hour
hate how happiness is affected by rating
I miss the old me, my old life
The people I didn’t meet, the ones that didn’t ruin me
At all times I am stabbed with a knife
Stripped of energy and ways to flee
The thought of someone wanting to hurt people
Shatters my mind, I am in shock
I have my own personal demon
Haunting me, listening every time I talk
One word and I am done for
Boys expecting me to bow down and worship at their feet
They never did before
They used to be so sweet

Please take me back
To those incredibly freeing times
I sink at every flashback
It is a fantasy I cannot explain in lines