They say today is a gift,
Thats why we call it present.
But today I fell back into the pit
And got laughed at for it.
You uttered a few simple,
Insincere words and
Offered me only those words
As if they were comforting.
It was a whoops-
I-just-tried-to-put-
my-pants-on-as-a-shirt
kind of day. I recieved
A slap from a chicken,
And almost experienced
Death by guitar.  
I tried to rise above it
But I tripped an fell instead.
No, the present wasn't a gift
Not today.