Normal people don’t stick their fingers where it hurts, only people who want you to hurt do that. But me, no, I don’t follow the rules. I am always shoving sharp objects into my wounds. I like to feel it all.

Why increase the pain that already exists, you may ask?

Pain is a type of pleasure. If suffering is what I have, suffering is what I shall feel.

Does pain have a reason? Must I increase my own suffering because I am already suffering? Simply, yes. I am alive and I am breathing and I will suffer while I do it all. It reminds me of the things I have failed at, and the things I do not want to do again. So yes, I will continue to push the knife into the open wound on my arm, I will drag the blade across my chest, I will make that rip bigger, I will not stitch it up and I will let it bleed. To recover is to have known pain fully, and only when you know it fully will you ever truly heal.