It's not fair for you to want me back
I am not your puppet
I am not at your beck and call
It's not fair to drop me with no warning to land feet first
Then call me to heel when you're bored
Using the inflection you know will unleash a flood of memories
And the look that leaves me awash
In thoughts of the past tinted by time
We are interconnected by a multitude of strings
Pull a thread and I will unwind
It wasn't fair when your words opened gashes in my skin
Roses grew sharp, wanting thorns that pricked still raw wounds
For months I cowered and flinched
Away from the kindness of others
For I felt too despicable to accept such morsels of sympathy
Unworthy of anything but revulsion from another
Then I built myself back up
Slowly, so gradually, broken pieces of my self respect
Reformed until I was scarred and uneven, but whole
And I should be strong enough to say no
Strong enough to deny you what you denied me all those months ago
But the reason I hate myself
The reason for my confliction
Is after everything you put me through
I so badly want to say yes