I used to scream & scream
so angry I found I couldn't stop
crying hyperventilating
maybe to make her worried
maybe to make her notice me
maybe to prove I was crazier than her

I made her cry
   made her go in the basement where the ***** coolers -- blueberry smirnoff, your favorite -- were waiting
   made her silent streaming tears come out & her coffee refilling again + again & her cigarette package needing to be replaced; the basement a hazy cave my mother sat in, silent + unresponsive, smoking constantly crying often rocking back+forth occasionally for four days

                                                                             I win.