In the mean time I survive
From the harsh hands of the monsters
I am now nothing , Heavier than the past, Lighter than present and running with the torn shoes towards  heaven  but the heaven still in the future and  the future not belonging to me .
Hey God please break my shekkels, free my soul
Make my life little lighter or burn some of the edges to let the light in so I see where my skills to fight my anxieties
I AM heavily burdened
My war torn ship in between  the aggressive sea and I still hope for the shore how optimistic I am
Hey God you operate
I destroyed, what the joke  
I am sinking , I am floating
I am coming to the light
The light of wisdom