I had escaped that way of seeing
truths and mistruths, so long ago
the pests of manipulation are teeming
in every piece of dialogue, everything I know
unwritten words and actions ripple with affect
and unsettle the world, dread alone can't stop tomorrow
I've seen the strings of prediction
influence and control, foresight is a frightening rein to forego
carried off by the affliction, let it all rot in dereliction
this snow globe is hot enough, preservation of your life is tough, the idea of hope is an alluring attraction
that draws life over time, the fatal equation
arriving at peace is the only solution

Corrosive as the skulls gives
to rust and self-perpetuated acid
this wasteland, where no man lives
chaotic, driftwood thoughts flow downstream amid
a riverbed of sleeping titans, who's hatred
like their tools is a weapon, the bolts hold the head together, their wrenches only tighten
they snore thunder, migraines, and whole months pass
sulking, shoulders bent, a cloud over me, can't even be saved by the bell at mass
a preacher, a rabbi, a pastor, failure as a teacher, lower eyes and walk past her
anyone can praise the strength of resistance to anxiety and depression
but nobody views rage as a power, you own up to it and pray it away at confession
because burying your anger, letting it out in fits and hiding for years, it only opens the window a hair to leave a full-bodied impression

We've always had to push that down and make it drown in our blood and guts, no ifs, ands, or buts, it's the topic referred to as your "you know who's" and "you know whats"
chronic, always over the shoulder like a kite tied to a noose,
balance uphill in the fight all the time, it can be let loose
I've seen people of integrity and the upmost decency get roped in by the pain
for it blinds me to the punishment I mete out and deserve, being so **** vain
I have taken freedom from soaring birds in my life, brought them down to my storm cloud level and held their faces in puddles of rain
it is hard to see anymore if I have swallowed the bottle or the bottle swallowed me, I choke on hot iron and I can't feel where the neck ends
even if it's bottled up, how do I pour it out by the cup when I know that with it I can ruin my whole life in less than fifteen seconds?