I have come to the point
and I'm pretty sure I've been here for quite some time
where I know what happened
but I still don't know
why
and that bothers me
It's like a melancholy voice that
drones
through my inner-ear
it sits heavy on every cell of my brain
so that just the thought of this confusion
breaks bones
So I want to know the driving force
behind these decisions
and wishes
and I want to know the scores
for how many accurate portrayals
are out there from family, friends
saying
"It was all you"
and Big Brother trying to keep me fed
saying
"There's nothing you can do
you're not accountable
do better for yourself
walk away"
But I'd rather stay
and I'd rather shout
till my lungs turn inside out
and scream at you that
I am not backing down
until I find out why
these people cry
these people die inside
these people play with life
Because I know there is a reason why
and there must be a way to make this right
and you can tell me so many times
that there is nothing you can do
You can say
this does not concern you
But as long as someone who is like me
a fellow human being
has to feel in a way they can't explain
separate from gunpowder and lead
this is my concern
this is my problem
because there may be something that I can do
to help them
and in turn help you
So
I want to know
I want to have a 'root of the problem'
I want to have some ground to stand on
and please don't tell me
I can't have the ground to stand on
that there is no ground to stand on
because I have seen the earth where you place your feet
and it is made of holes dug a thousand year's worth deep
and filled in
with my ground to stand on
and let me tell you that
it is time for that withering dirt to come back into the light
and you best believe I'm going
to fight
to bring it back
under the sun.