Hello.
I would like to introduce myself
But I can’t find a name that fits this shell

So let me try to explain

My name is Soldier
A name given to me by a person who’s far gone
But the name still sticks
Appearing at the bottoms of emails and nothing more
Leaving a smirk on my face each time
Giving myself a little piece of strength I need to press send

I do fight battles
Not those that people can see happening
But ones that stay nestled at the back of my mind
Hitting like waves when my guard is down
Drowning me in sorrows, loneliness, and numbness
But that’s no way to earn a name
Given to those who selflessly fight for those around them
But yet maybe I do
Just in a different way

My name is Confusion
Not only for the things around me
But about who I am and where I’m going
This past school year has changed a lot
From friends, to values, to mind set
Leaving me in a swirl of questions that only I can answer
But those are answers I do not have

I don’t know who I am
I don’t know what I will become
But sitting in this moment I know I won’t be the same me 5 years from now
So I try to take it day by day
Repeating the words that are now engraved in my mind
Don’t worry till you have to, right?

And on the days where that isn’t enough

My name is Changed
Wishing so desperately to stay where I am but wanting to go further
Waiting until I step too far
Falling between the cracks in my heart
Hoping to grasp onto something that will keep me from changing
Before I hit the floor and lose everything
At the bottom I always picture a room
Nothing there but boxes of old memories and a little red light
One that people keep turning back on after I left it to burn out

I don’t always understand why they change it
But it seems that with the person I’ve become there is still a piece of something left
But I don’t see it
Blinded by the thoughts that race through my mind
Making me question more and more why I’m still here

My name is Lost
Random midnight walks
Never having somewhere to go
But feeling the urge to go anywhere but where I am
Keep walking, running
Sprinting blocks at a time
Home becoming less of a place and more of an idea
Never fully set somewhere but constantly changing

I don’t know who I am
I don’t know what I will become
But my legs will carry me
Searching for nothing more than the feeling of finally being found
Whether that be in the darkness of midnight streets
Or in the extended arms of family
Blood or found

Hello.
My name is Talia
But that is subject to change
So don’t get too attached to it
Just like the person I am
Because that is subject to change as well
Just hopefully I can find the name I belong to
Even if it’s something new