When you wake up in the morning And there's a note on your mug "I didn't want to wake you" "I left your favorite donuts on the table" "When you sleep you make little sobbing sounds" (And I think that's cute) is implied To no longer be your own To be stealing his deodorant Because you miss his smell at work And kitchen smells are not musician smells And guitar strings are not Your body But they might as well be Because you feel Every Tiny Note He plays You would gladly do his laundry For another song to fall asleep too Many ways he kisses you Too many places to count the stars Too many phantom vibrations And you think your phone is ringing Because he just wants to talk about your day You lose it for a minute But it's nothing It's the wind blowing It's just missing someone And you're terrified you've forgotten The shadows his nose casts and The dilations of his eyes And the shapes of his words As they meet your ears But you look up at the moon How it waxes It wanes Your love goes through phases That bring in the tides And wash lost shark's teeth out to sea Your love changes daily Loving him is often scary You are perpetually quaking Remembering how quickly Sweet things dissolve in the rain Sugar wastes enamel Like time wastes muscle You could fit a camel through the eye of a needle Easier than you can handle this Than you can wrap your head around Caliente Having no control Because you cut the reins You wanted it that way And you forgot that fear Taste like red wine and stale saltines And being out of ice cream You wanted it that way You wanted a love story You wanted to know that there's no such thing as control anyways No such thing as An autonomous heart And you are ****** Because you could draw the shadows his nose casts The squeeze of his *** The way his eyes fluoresce at the sight of you From memory You are ****** because he is all you can think about Past, present, future I mean, you are seriously ******
I wrote this stream of consciousness mess as a warning to myself. I'm ******.