months have past
our bodies growing together
spirit, souls,
becoming tangled

But I leave you soon
and my heart is aching

and I am fighting the urge to push you
push you hard and urgently away


the plan for chaos was not a plan at all
merely an explosion of stuffed down emotions
that had been building ever so slowly

fear of losing you, fear of losing us

I rationalize,
this will make it easier
my head full of dark clouds
and now bittersweet memories
that once contained perfect nectar

a rare fruit we created together

and I fear so strongly the demise of us
I cannot tolerate to watch the leaves wither and fall

emptying our beautiful branches.

I 'd rather our tree burn
just as quickly as the fire that started between us

quick.
painless.


but to watch us fade
and watch our leaves fall
and watch our branches become empty

i must not
i could not

i cannot